There are points in this journey when we all contemplate our value and existence. We reflect on how much we matter in the vastness of this place. Would anyone notice, or would anything change, if tomorrow I was gone? Do I add anything to this world just being me? If I’ve given away pieces of my heart, mind, spirit and body, does my worth depreciate? When I’m tossed aside after, do I have any hope of recovering? Or will I remain hollow in the places I sacrificed in the moment?

When someone you love rejects you, your mind wants to understand, so your heart can heal and move on. I don’t believe we ever fully “recover” from that rejection. It is more accepted and redirected to the best of our ability. We are human after all. We desire to be loved fully and without restraint. We long for an encompassing love that can conquer enemies, overcome obstacles and build empires. A safe place to be ourselves and bring joy to another.

There is a strong desire, for most of us, to find the place we belong. We search for the person we think God has chosen for us. A perfectly molded piece to our puzzle. The difficulty with this, is that it again, negates free will. Choice. God could have the best laid plan, but we determine our steps to get there and can ignore every red flag exposed to us. We can discern the imbalance, but feel determined to “succeed” in our relationships, no matter how toxic or detrimental to our peace. Getting stuck in the legalities and not remembering the promise.

Our value, lying in the success of what the world says, and no longer in what He says. We are priceless in His eyes, and yet so many of us reject that as truth. Myself included. I constantly find myself giving away my heart to people who have no interest in protecting or keeping it. It makes no sense, but I have not discovered a way to keep myself from loving hard. Risking destruction for the hope of being priceless to another human. Both in friendship and in love.

Actions reveal the true intent of someone’s character and commitment, but are constantly ignored to appease our own hope and desire. It’s heart breaking and unfair, when we are so willing to pour out for people who just don’t choose us. It begins to break down all the worth that God already established within each of us. A treasure box of jewels, waiting for the right moment and key to open up and reveal all that’s inside.

How do we get to a place where our hearts remain intact, despite our choices? Particularly when we feel like we continue to fail over and over. How can we trust that anyone will be able to love us fully when we have chipped away so much of ourselves? I know the answer, because I have been seeking it. Pouring every part of who I am into Him and who He wants me to be. His grace reminding me that although I fail, falter and fall, I remain His. Priceless. Known. Chosen. Forgiven.

God knows His creations. He knows how precious each of us are. He always has hope and desire for us to find the match that elevates our love for each other and Him. But, He will also make a way to heal those broken pieces, and fill the hollow spaces left behind, when we choose wrong. His perfect sacrifice, a sign that His love will always be the most faithful and fulfilling love we can experience. We know we’ve found it, when joy replaces happiness.